Trump's demise would throw half the nation into a blood-chortling frenzy, crying out for revenge--while the other half rushes to the liquor store to stock up on champagne. He has survived five assassination attempts so far, by my count (including a creative but laughable scheme to overturn his limousine with a forklift). America had roughly 13 million people in 1828, when Andrew Jackson--the first president to fend off a would-be assassin--was first elected. Today, we have around 334 million, and every occupant of the Oval Office since Richard Nixon has survived at least one assassination attempt during his career. It now comes with the job.

I wouldn't bet my annuity on Trump's odds of surviving four years. But I don't necessarily think that the culprit will be a radical with a gun. Instead, my mind wanders back to Franklin Roosevelt in 1945 or former Vice-President Nelson Rockefellar in 1979. Trump seems more likely to take his final bow in Mar-a-Lago, with a smile on his face and an aspiring adult film star lying next to him.