Tom, judging others as ʻweakʻ when you arenʻt in their shoes is a bit like issuing a ruling when you havenʻt been in the courtroom and werenʻt assigned to the case. You will fuck up and at some point fall short … we are finite beings in a vast, complicated world which is largely beyond our ability to control. We all fuck up … admittedly, some more than others and we should strive for our best.

But donʻt beat yourself up when you fall short. Instead, focus on nurturing the grace to overlook and forgive your spouseʻs mistakes and shortcomings. Because she, too, will disappoint you at times. And if you have the capacity to embrace all of her (weaknesses as well as strengths) she will hopefully return the favor when you need grace.

Thatʻs the Readerʻs Digest version of the little talk I give when I perform a wedding. Beyond that, all I can say is “congratulations!” Sit back and enjoy the adventure.