The Day I Painted the House Yellow

The Ethical Will of Donald Armstrong, Part 5

For an explanation of what an ‘Ethical Will’ is, please see my previous post, ‘I Leave to You … Whatever Wisdom I May Have Gained.’

Until I was a sophomore in high school, our family lived in rented farmhouses, a few miles out of town. Our longest tenure was in a one-story, two bedroom model that came with an outhouse instead of an indoor toilet. This, incidentally, was in northern Illinois and below zero temperatures were not uncommon in the winter months.

The outhouse, of course, was unheated. Although once quite common in the rural Midwest, these facilities were decidedly on the way out when we moved onto the Schillinger property, as the place was known. Having an outhouse was a source of embarrassment to me, and was one of several reasons that I seldom invited friends to visit.

The house had other drawbacks as well. I am not sure when it had last been painted, but it clearly needed a fresh coat. Like many farmhouses, it boasted a white exterior, which was peeling and flaking off in numerous places. So once again, I winced whenever I saw the family of one of my friends drive past our home. I am not sure which bothered me the most — the fading paint or the outhouse.