Thank you for sharing ... there was a time in my life when I might have written something very similar. As a male in his early 70s, I can look back on a life that has slowly evolved into what I now have--and cherish: an open relationship with a partner (of 20+ years) who is polyamorous, lives with me three months out of the year, and is still the love of my life. Sex is probably the least important aspect of our lives--there is something far deeper in the way that he "gets" me, in the way that our views of the world converge, in the utter comfort that I feel in his presence. We both enjoy the varied pleasures of sex, with various other men ... sometimes together, sometimes not. I cannot imagine asking him to forego those pleasures--and it would never occur to him to ask that of me. The only thing we ask of each other is to "play safe" ... I honestly cannot even remember what jealousy feels like. There are many paths through life and yours may be very different from the one that I have followed. My only wish for you is that you find as much joy in your journey, wherever it may take you, as I have found in mine.