I don't know you, James, but we do have some connections ... I am a gay Air Force intelligence vet, I have lost both of my parents (Mom passed away in August) and I spent months mourning a little yellow parakeet who sang opera (loved anything by Verdi or Tchaikovsky) and joined me and my partner for cocktail hour every evening. (He was allowed two sips of my partner's Manhatten, after which he would cock his head and look at me to see if he could steal a third one--despite the fact that I never said 'yes.') So I can relate ... hang in there, and know that you are appreciated.