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All I Need for the Holidays

Donald Armstrong
2 min readNov 16, 2021

I don’t really celebrate Christmas, since I am Jewish. But if you insist on buying me a present, you may want to know that the only thing that I really need is more money for meth. It typically sells in 3.5 gram units for $120 each. So, $120 for the first unit, $240 for the second unit and $360 for the third. I am sure that you can do the math yourself.

Of course, any amount would help. But I suspect that you would feel the most satisfaction knowing that your gift has enabled me to procure at least one entire unit. I do know that Aunt Ruthie said that she was delighted to be able to send me an early present of $600 for five units. She apologized for not buying more, but as we all know, she is retired and is on a fixed income. Can I get a shout-out for Aunt Ruthie?

I know that some of you like to make your own presents for the holidays — it feels more personal that way. I am thinking of you Uncle Max … love those large wooden coatracks. Can never have too many coat racks here in the islands … and adding lettering that says “A Don Ho Original” was sheer brilliance.

Much love, and happy holidays!

Daniel

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Donald Armstrong
Donald Armstrong

Written by Donald Armstrong

Moved by a conviction that we humans--gifted with reason--can do so much better than we are; asks how both politics and faith can better serve humanity's needs.

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